I had already read about the outrage over the transport of live cattle from Australia to Indonesia, but it wasn't until I heard a sound fragment (I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the actual imaging), that it suddenly hit me: I want to be a vegetarian. The sounds of the struggling cow in such intense agony made me sick to my stomach and broke my heart - I cried like a little child for 30 minutes with Jochem on the phone and spent the rest of the day like a zombie at work and the evening in bed trying to blur the experience from my head by watching both Sex and the City movies in a row.
I come from a family with a Dutch father and a Spanish mother, so as a child I ate a lot of meat and fish and thought that it was the most normal thing in the world. As a teenager I heard about people who were vegetarians, but I knew that I liked it too much to stop. Only during my college years did vegetarianism started to seem like a real option for me. I started eating less and less meat and fish and I even tried being a vegetarian full-time for 2 months during the summer of 2009, including a 2-week holiday in Spain, which was NOT easy (the Spanish 'don't do' vegetarianism, it seems).
Over the last couple of years, I stopped eating meat and fish during the week and reserved it for the weekends or special occasions. I only bought organic and free-range products. When trying to imagine giving it up completely, though, it seemed like such a difficult choice, especially since Jochem has no intention to go there with me. I'd often wish that I had the strength to become a vegetarian and would read about these people who read something or saw something or heard something and decided right then and there never to eat animals again. I guess that hearing that sound fragment was my moment and I quit eating animals cold turkey (no pun intended).
Now, however (only 6 days in!), I'm having such a hard time imagining the realities of that choice. I know that there are lots of people who eat vegetarian most of the time but who sometimes eat meat and fish and make sure that it's the organic and free-range kind when they do. These people are called 'flextarians,' which really doesn't sound as cool as being a vegetarian. I'm probably being silly, but when I say that I am a vegetarian I feel so proud to be standing for something that I believe in (i.e. eating animals = murder) and I have such a bleak black and white view of the world that not going all the way in this seems like the lowest form of cowardice and weakness, especially considering the fact that I completely fell apart on Tuesday. It's all or nothing for me, it seems.
For me the most difficult part of becoming a vegetarian would be to combine it with my travels. I love food and I love trying new things - can you imagine going to Argentine and NOT having steak? I have a hard time picturing it... It feels so limiting and I hate that feeling. But then I remember that one of my favorite travel icons, Dutch traveler Floortje Dessing, traveled the world as a vegetarian and I feel silly again.
My friend Bianca said that I shouldn't deny myself certain kinds of food and that I should just try to be even more conscious of what I eat (she actually saw the footage and threw up afterwards, but is clearly not as affected by it as I am). Jochem suggested that I stop trying to figure everything out now and instead just take every day as it comes. For example, I could decide to only cook vegetarian food myself and not have any meat or fish in the house (cat food excluded) and try to eat vegetarian as often as possible. But when we have another dinner date I will not ask my friends to cook vegetarian for me and when in Argentina/Turkey/Scotland I will allow myself one plate of organic, free-range steak/köfte/haggis. Although this idea appeals to me, it also makes me feel like a fake.
What do YOU think?
10 June 2011
What Happens in Brussels...
Last weekend I took a train to visit my friend Anna. Anna and I have such a fascinating friendship. When I first met her, I thought she was Russian (a fact which, I'm sure, she's never quite forgiven me). We only became friends after the Christmas break when we bonded over our relationships that, alas - like many others, didn't make it long past the campus gate. Over the years we've shared many more heartbreak, bottles of wine, Californian adventures, American road trips, wet French campsites and countless cups of herbal tea (to name but a few). Sometimes we fight - usually about money or my obsessive compulsive habits and inability to be flexible (or at least not flexible enough, quickly enough). But no matter what, that girl has always been there for me. It's quite surreal looking back - I don't know how she didn't get sick of me (I was sick of me), but she's always stayed with her humor, kindness, acceptance, loyalty and butt-kicking (when needed).
preparing for one of UCU's infamous parties on campus (fall 2003)
She moved to Brussels 2 years ago, which means that I don't see her as often as I'd like, but I'm glad that I'm able to catch a train and see her in 3 hours when the timing is right (as opposed to this other friend who lives all the way in northern California - seeing her requires a lot more planning). Before she moved, we didn't live in the same city either, but it was easier to meet up. And before that, we shared a unit on campus - rooms across from each other. We lived in Voltaire, the building where all the Humanities classes were given. We were Humanities majors (and proud of it!) and thought we were so cool for living there. Just the possibility of going to class in our pajamas appealed to us (though both of us were way too vain to ever did anything like that).
relaxing in the sun at the park near Anna's apartment in Brussels (spring 2009)
So, when I do visit Anna in Brussels, I always have so much fun! Her apartment is like this beautiful place that houses a treasure of cute little artsy things. There are always piles of magazines on the living room floor, clippings on the walls and leftover snacks in the bookcases. I actually love the organized chaos, though I'm pretty sure she'd never believe me. So when in Brussels, we hardly ever do touristy stuff (in fact, the first time I finally saw some of Brussels' famous sites was when Danielle came over from the US and was kind enough to play tourist with me). Instead, it's like I live there too and we spend the weekend doing things like getting our ears pierced and taking bikram yoga classes.
Anna and I got a tattoo together almost 7 years ago in Melrose, Los Angeles. It was at the end of our studies abroad and we wanted to do it together. We'd been thinking about getting a tattoo for quite some time and after Danielle did her research into the best tattoo shops in LA and we somehow managed to get to Melrose on LA's insane bus system, we got one. I was beyond nervous and would have gladly taken a vodka shot, had it not been for the particular dangerous blood-thinning quality of alcohol. So I went first, and did okay. Anna went second, and went through quite some pain. So when we got our ears pierced, I told her she could go first. She was taken to a little room up some winding stairs where she proceeded to scream her lungs out. Just to scare me. It was mean - my hands were already shaking with fear. But it went alright and we are now both tattoo and piercing buddies. God, we're so bad-ass.
the new piercing
On Sunday morning we got up early to take a bikram yoga class. If you know anything about me and Anna, this would surprise you. Anna is notoriously known for being grumpy in the morning (and if she hasn't had her coffee yet: beware!) and the thought of doing 26 yoga poses in 105-degree heat for 90 minutes always sounded like hell to me. But Anna was very persuasive and I'm always in for trying new things at least once. Turns out bikram yoga is kind of awesome. Since I don't have to work at all in July, I plan to get a 1-month membership so I can go every day. Funny how things go.
If you need any more inspiration to try bikram yoga at least once (if my sudden conversion isn't enough) then watch this video and read this article. I love how Jeanne Heaton describes the practice:
"The postures are accessible to anyone, in any shape, but challenging for everyone, in any shape. The front mirrors force you to face the truth and the reality of your life."
So many of my friends think that yoga is a competitive sport, while one of the first things I learned about yoga is that it is all about your own personal growth and that it is the effort that you put into the pose, and not the actual pose itself, that counts. Everyone can do yoga. Like Jeanne Heaton says: "Just get in the room."
preparing for one of UCU's infamous parties on campus (fall 2003)
She moved to Brussels 2 years ago, which means that I don't see her as often as I'd like, but I'm glad that I'm able to catch a train and see her in 3 hours when the timing is right (as opposed to this other friend who lives all the way in northern California - seeing her requires a lot more planning). Before she moved, we didn't live in the same city either, but it was easier to meet up. And before that, we shared a unit on campus - rooms across from each other. We lived in Voltaire, the building where all the Humanities classes were given. We were Humanities majors (and proud of it!) and thought we were so cool for living there. Just the possibility of going to class in our pajamas appealed to us (though both of us were way too vain to ever did anything like that).
relaxing in the sun at the park near Anna's apartment in Brussels (spring 2009)
So, when I do visit Anna in Brussels, I always have so much fun! Her apartment is like this beautiful place that houses a treasure of cute little artsy things. There are always piles of magazines on the living room floor, clippings on the walls and leftover snacks in the bookcases. I actually love the organized chaos, though I'm pretty sure she'd never believe me. So when in Brussels, we hardly ever do touristy stuff (in fact, the first time I finally saw some of Brussels' famous sites was when Danielle came over from the US and was kind enough to play tourist with me). Instead, it's like I live there too and we spend the weekend doing things like getting our ears pierced and taking bikram yoga classes.
Anna and I got a tattoo together almost 7 years ago in Melrose, Los Angeles. It was at the end of our studies abroad and we wanted to do it together. We'd been thinking about getting a tattoo for quite some time and after Danielle did her research into the best tattoo shops in LA and we somehow managed to get to Melrose on LA's insane bus system, we got one. I was beyond nervous and would have gladly taken a vodka shot, had it not been for the particular dangerous blood-thinning quality of alcohol. So I went first, and did okay. Anna went second, and went through quite some pain. So when we got our ears pierced, I told her she could go first. She was taken to a little room up some winding stairs where she proceeded to scream her lungs out. Just to scare me. It was mean - my hands were already shaking with fear. But it went alright and we are now both tattoo and piercing buddies. God, we're so bad-ass.
the new piercing
On Sunday morning we got up early to take a bikram yoga class. If you know anything about me and Anna, this would surprise you. Anna is notoriously known for being grumpy in the morning (and if she hasn't had her coffee yet: beware!) and the thought of doing 26 yoga poses in 105-degree heat for 90 minutes always sounded like hell to me. But Anna was very persuasive and I'm always in for trying new things at least once. Turns out bikram yoga is kind of awesome. Since I don't have to work at all in July, I plan to get a 1-month membership so I can go every day. Funny how things go.
If you need any more inspiration to try bikram yoga at least once (if my sudden conversion isn't enough) then watch this video and read this article. I love how Jeanne Heaton describes the practice:
"The postures are accessible to anyone, in any shape, but challenging for everyone, in any shape. The front mirrors force you to face the truth and the reality of your life."
So many of my friends think that yoga is a competitive sport, while one of the first things I learned about yoga is that it is all about your own personal growth and that it is the effort that you put into the pose, and not the actual pose itself, that counts. Everyone can do yoga. Like Jeanne Heaton says: "Just get in the room."
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