To be or not to be (a vegetarian), that is the question...

I had already read about the outrage over the transport of live cattle from Australia to Indonesia, but it wasn't until I heard a sound fragment (I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the actual imaging), that it suddenly hit me: I want to be a vegetarian. The sounds of the struggling cow in such intense agony made me sick to my stomach and broke my heart - I cried like a little child for 30 minutes with Jochem on the phone and spent the rest of the day like a zombie at work and the evening in bed trying to blur the experience from my head by watching both Sex and the City movies in a row.

I come from a family with a Dutch father and a Spanish mother, so as a child I ate a lot of meat and fish and thought that it was the most normal thing in the world. As a teenager I heard about people who were vegetarians, but I knew that I liked it too much to stop. Only during my college years did vegetarianism started to seem like a real option for me. I started eating less and less meat and fish and I even tried being a vegetarian full-time for 2 months during the summer of 2009, including a 2-week holiday in Spain, which was NOT easy (the Spanish 'don't do' vegetarianism, it seems).

Over the last couple of years, I stopped eating meat and fish during the week and reserved it for the weekends or special occasions. I only bought organic and free-range products. When trying to imagine giving it up completely, though, it seemed like such a difficult choice, especially since Jochem has no intention to go there with me. I'd often wish that I had the strength to become a vegetarian and would read about these people who read something or saw something or heard something and decided right then and there never to eat animals again. I guess that hearing that sound fragment was my moment and I quit eating animals cold turkey (no pun intended).

Now, however (only 6 days in!), I'm having such a hard time imagining the realities of that choice. I know that there are lots of people who eat vegetarian most of the time but who sometimes eat meat and fish and make sure that it's the organic and free-range kind when they do. These people are called 'flextarians,' which really doesn't sound as cool as being a vegetarian. I'm probably being silly, but when I say that I am a vegetarian I feel so proud to be standing for something that I believe in (i.e. eating animals = murder) and I have such a bleak black and white view of the world that not going all the way in this seems like the lowest form of cowardice and weakness, especially considering the fact that I completely fell apart on Tuesday. It's all or nothing for me, it seems.

For me the most difficult part of becoming a vegetarian would be to combine it with my travels. I love food and I love trying new things - can you imagine going to Argentine and NOT having steak? I have a hard time picturing it... It feels so limiting and I hate that feeling. But then I remember that one of my favorite travel icons, Dutch traveler Floortje Dessing, traveled the world as a vegetarian and I feel silly again.

My friend Bianca said that I shouldn't deny myself certain kinds of food and that I should just try to be even more conscious of what I eat (she actually saw the footage and threw up afterwards, but is clearly not as affected by it as I am). Jochem suggested that I stop trying to figure everything out now and instead just take every day as it comes. For example, I could decide to only cook vegetarian food myself and not have any meat or fish in the house (cat food excluded) and try to eat vegetarian as often as possible. But when we have another dinner date I will not ask my friends to cook vegetarian for me and when in Argentina/Turkey/Scotland I will allow myself one plate of organic, free-range steak/köfte/haggis. Although this idea appeals to me, it also makes me feel like a fake.

What do YOU think?

What Happens in Brussels...

Last weekend I took a train to visit my friend Anna. Anna and I have such a fascinating friendship. When I first met her, I thought she was Russian (a fact which, I'm sure, she's never quite forgiven me). We only became friends after the Christmas break when we bonded over our relationships that, alas - like many others, didn't make it long past the campus gate. Over the years we've shared many more heartbreak, bottles of wine, Californian adventures, American road trips, wet French campsites and countless cups of herbal tea (to name but a few). Sometimes we fight - usually about money or my obsessive compulsive habits and inability to be flexible (or at least not flexible enough, quickly enough). But no matter what, that girl has always been there for me. It's quite surreal looking back - I don't know how she didn't get sick of me (I was sick of me), but she's always stayed with her humor, kindness, acceptance, loyalty and butt-kicking (when needed).


preparing for one of UCU's infamous parties on campus (fall 2003)

She moved to Brussels 2 years ago, which means that I don't see her as often as I'd like, but I'm glad that I'm able to catch a train and see her in 3 hours when the timing is right (as opposed to this other friend who lives all the way in northern California - seeing her requires a lot more planning). Before she moved, we didn't live in the same city either, but it was easier to meet up. And before that, we shared a unit on campus - rooms across from each other. We lived in Voltaire, the building where all the Humanities classes were given. We were Humanities majors (and proud of it!) and thought we were so cool for living there. Just the possibility of going to class in our pajamas appealed to us (though both of us were way too vain to ever did anything like that).


relaxing in the sun at the park near Anna's apartment in Brussels (spring 2009)

So, when I do visit Anna in Brussels, I always have so much fun! Her apartment is like this beautiful place that houses a treasure of cute little artsy things. There are always piles of magazines on the living room floor, clippings on the walls and leftover snacks in the bookcases. I actually love the organized chaos, though I'm pretty sure she'd never believe me. So when in Brussels, we hardly ever do touristy stuff (in fact, the first time I finally saw some of Brussels' famous sites was when Danielle came over from the US and was kind enough to play tourist with me). Instead, it's like I live there too and we spend the weekend doing things like getting our ears pierced and taking bikram yoga classes.

Anna and I got a tattoo together almost 7 years ago in Melrose, Los Angeles. It was at the end of our studies abroad and we wanted to do it together. We'd been thinking about getting a tattoo for quite some time and after Danielle did her research into the best tattoo shops in LA and we somehow managed to get to Melrose on LA's insane bus system, we got one. I was beyond nervous and would have gladly taken a vodka shot, had it not been for the particular dangerous blood-thinning quality of alcohol. So I went first, and did okay. Anna went second, and went through quite some pain. So when we got our ears pierced, I told her she could go first. She was taken to a little room up some winding stairs where she proceeded to scream her lungs out. Just to scare me. It was mean - my hands were already shaking with fear. But it went alright and we are now both tattoo and piercing buddies. God, we're so bad-ass.


the new piercing

On Sunday morning we got up early to take a bikram yoga class. If you know anything about me and Anna, this would surprise you. Anna is notoriously known for being grumpy in the morning (and if she hasn't had her coffee yet: beware!) and the thought of doing 26 yoga poses in 105-degree heat for 90 minutes always sounded like hell to me. But Anna was very persuasive and I'm always in for trying new things at least once. Turns out bikram yoga is kind of awesome. Since I don't have to work at all in July, I plan to get a 1-month membership so I can go every day. Funny how things go.

If you need any more inspiration to try bikram yoga at least once (if my sudden conversion isn't enough) then watch this video and read this article. I love how Jeanne Heaton describes the practice:

"The postures are accessible to anyone, in any shape, but challenging for everyone, in any shape. The front mirrors force you to face the truth and the reality of your life."

So many of my friends think that yoga is a competitive sport, while one of the first things I learned about yoga is that it is all about your own personal growth and that it is the effort that you put into the pose, and not the actual pose itself, that counts. Everyone can do yoga. Like Jeanne Heaton says: "Just get in the room."

Asparagus x 2

When I read a blog about asparagus on Seven Spoons, I immediately thought to myself: I should be eating more asparagus! Although I pride myself in eating seasonally, sometimes I still forget that I should make the most of these beautiful ingredients while they are actually still in season. I made a catastrophic error when I discovered in winter that the next time pumpkin will be back in season, I'll be in bloody South East Asia, probably just trying to survive monsoon season. Determined not to make the same mistake twice, I have already made excellent use of this Spring's rhubarb - last week alone I prepared one spicy pork dish, one bellini and one iced tea, all with fresh rhubarb. This week I was so inspired by Seven Spoons' blog on asparagus that I decided to make its asparagus with hard-boiled egg vinaigrette, which we served with some steak. But, since we also came across some asparagus tips on the market while we were looking for new swimming trunks and flip-flops for Jochem to use during our world trip, I decided to also prepare those with some olive oil, lemon juice and Parmesan cheese, courtsey of Jamie Oliver.



Source: Jamie at Home by Jamie Oliver



Source: Seven Spoons

PS: We also had these amazing blueberry pancakes for lunch!



Source: Happy Days with the Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver

i ♥ utrecht, part ii

One of the best things about living where we live, is the fact that we are a mere 5-minute walk away from a lovely park called the Griftpark. This exact spot used to be a contaminated industrial site which has since been cleaned up and restored into this park. I like the park, although ever since I went to Edinburgh and have seen what kind of 'parks' (if you can call it that) they have there, this park seems rather silly and small. To me it feels like an urban park because it seems like a lot of design went into the making of it (which it probably did). This makes the park very organized and leaves lots of room for cute little restaurants and bars near its premises, including a little floating island where you can have drinks. It also houses a small children's farm with lots of barnyard animals and a communal garden for elementary school kids. Jochem and I like to stroll in the park during the fall and winter, while during the warmer days of the year I have shared many a bottle of wine and scraped-together bbq there. Here is a collection of my favorite photos of the Griftpark over the years:

Jamie Oliver's Stroganoff

Although I love going out to restaurants and trying new things, I get just as excited by the thought of staying in and cooking myself. I often try new things at home as well, but sometimes I prefer to make a dish that I know will be good. I like this idea of comfort food - cooking something simple yet delicious that you know will not disappoint. I think that it suits my personality, since I'm the kind of gal who can watch a favorite movie a billion times without getting sick of it - knowing what's going to happen is a comforting thought and I am somehow capable of recreating the sentiments I experienced when first watching it. I have the same thing for music, books and food.

When it comes to food nostalgia, however, I usually go for the slowly roasted soup and/or homemade tomato sauce variety (whether with pasta or on pizza). This stroganoff recipe has slowly crept into my comfort food repertoire and considering the windy, rainy and downright cold May we've been having, this dish seemed like a logical choice for tonight's meal. It holds some of my favorite ingredients ever (mushrooms, cream and lemon zest) and is rich in flavor yet at the same time fresh and zingy. Although it is more of a fall dish, I enjoyed it very much on this chilly spring evening.

Source: Jamie at Home by Jamie Oliver

i ♥ utrecht, part i

You didn't actually think that, now that my "What I Cooked Today" posts are over, I would leave you high and dry, did you?! The truth is that I just can't stop writing about my silly little life, if only to amuse myself. I've written some blogs lately, some about food and some about other joys, but the truth is that I already had a concept for a new series in mind before my other series was finished. This time I would like to write about what I love about Utrecht. There is, after all, so much to love, and to be even more forthcoming: I think it might help me say goodbye.

The first thing that I want to - no, MUST - write about is my apartment. How could I not? It has been my home for almost 6 years. It has sheltered me in good and in bad times. It has seen me sleep in, fight, read novels, drink beer, do yoga, cook and clean. Besides the first 18 years of my life, which I spent in Almelo, and those 3 wonderfully crazy years on the UCU campus, it's the only home I've ever known. And let's not forget that Jochem and I (plus several family members and friends) turned this place into what it is today through weeks of hard labor.





But let's not get too sentimental and forget the things that I absolutely dread about this place and will not miss at all. Just to mention a few, I hate:
- The fact that I need to not close the door of the bathroom in order to have enough leg room to sit comfortably;
- That every surface is covered in at leat 5 coats of paint;
- The dust, which hides in corners and between cracks;
- The stained carpet in the bedroom;
- The teeny tiny balcony that only fits 2 chairs (although, I must admit, that's also what I kind of love about it);
- The fact that, when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I have to (1) go downstairs and (2) balance very steep stairs;
- The creepy noises it makes;
- The draft;
- The cold in winter (especially when it comes over night during a holiday weekend and your heater breaks);
- The heat, oh my, the heat that comes during the humid Dutch summers.

So what do I love about this place? Well, first of all, we have a lot of space. Although the apartment is old and badly kept, we have 2 whole floors for the 5 of us (me, Jochem, Bicho, Manchego and Pesto - so just 2 human beings). I love that we are able to have separate rooms to do separate things in. It keeps things simple and organized (not that I'm into all that or anything).



Another thing that I've always loved about this place are the windows. They are quite big and offer a lot of light and sunshine into our home, which is so important when fall arrives and the days grow so much darker so soon.

I wouldn't say that I have a favorite spot in my apartment. How could I choose? Obviously, I love our yellow kitchen, as well as the dining table, where we shared so many good meals and where I drink my cup of coffee every morning.



I definitely have a soft spot for that teeny, tiny balcony of ours. Sometimes, when it's really hot, I get up early to just sit there to drink a cup of coffee and enjoy some cool, fresh morning air. Sometimes, at night, I like to take a beer or a glass of wine up there to look out into the world and fantasize about what my life could possibly be like. I treasure those moments of quiet solitude in my otherwise hectic existence (if not in real life, then at least in my head).



Plus: I love the view of old houses built against each other. It makes me feel enclosed, safe, and part of something.





But I would say that I spend just as much time in the other rooms of our apartment. I will never forget the seemingly endless hours that I spent in our study/guest room studying and writing papers. Perhaps that's why I don't like it there so much anymore, although Jochem still spends most of his evenings there behind his computer. In the winter it's the warmest room in the house, so I often lie on the couch and read novels or watch a TV show on my laptop.

I like to be in our living room when there are a lot of people around to share food and conversation or to watch a movie from our big couch. Although it is rare now, Jochem and I used to spend hours on that couch watching Friends or Bones. I also love to look at the map of the world above our couch and dream.



The bedroom is a place where I like to do my yoga, although the cats often make it hard. Sometimes we use our bed as a living room and spend whole days there as if our apartment were no more than a small studio. Sometimes you just don't need much.





With so many good memories attached to this place, the thought of leaving it often fills me with intense grief and sadness. But I think that it's important to learn to distinguish between the house in itself and the way I felt in it. A house is, after all, just a nice pile of bricks. We make it a home by living in it. But then again, maybe I already learned this lesson, or otherwise I probably wouldn't be quitting my job to spend 9 months as a penniless backpacker traveling the world - I would apply for a mortgage instead. So I guess that thinking about leaving this place has become like an almost healed wound that I just keep licking, so as not to forget, ever, that I was here once, living happily.

Pancakes, Brownies & Pasta

In April I started giving exam training every Saturday, which means that Jochem and I don't have as much time together during the weekends as we used to. It's just temporary (2 months) and for a good cause (world trip), but when we do have a whole day to be at home together (no errands or prior engagements, but just TV and food in our pajamas), I'm all the more grateful for it. I wanted to take advantage of this sudden splurge of time, and so we got a bunch of ingredients to make this Sunday as filled with comfort food as possible. We made ourselves:

Banana Pancakes



Source: Happy Days with the Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver

Cocoa Brownies with Salted Peanut Butter Icing



Source: Not Without Salt

Spicy Penne with Cauliflower



Source: The Silver Spoon: Pasta

Russian Egg and Mushroom Salad

Today another one of my favorite food bloggers is featured: Molly Wizenberg. This lady writes beautiful prose and posts lovely pictures on her website Orangette and also in her book A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table (though no pictures in the book, just on the website). Today I made her Russian egg and mushroom salad, which I served with some leftover tortillas and chives. It was so simple, but so good!

Source: Orangette

Tarte Flambée

Thanks to my friend Anna, I am now a faithful reader of a couple of food blogs (you can find their websites on the right in my links). I started out just looking at the pretty pictures, but lately I've also been enjoying the stories behind the images, and today I made my very first dish that did not come from a cookbook but from the world wide web: tarte flambée. Tarte flambée is basically a pizza with a creme fraiche base as opposed to the more traditional tomato sauce base. Top it with bacon, caramelized onion and chives and you've got one very happy me!

Source: Not Without Salt

Cider

The weather in NL has been kind of crazy lately. Not too hot, luckily, but very sunny with hardly any rain. The other night a big thunderstorm finally arrived and today the weather is still pretty warm, but cloudy. When I was looking through our pictures of Edinburgh, I came across this picture that Jochem took on Sunday in Almelo. It is a glass of cider on my parents' dining table in their garden. It sure makes me wish that it was summer.