"What I Cooked Today" Day 339

Of course we made a big batch of Spanish spagetti yesterday so we could eat it again today.

In other news: I feel pretty great! I have been feeling pretty great lately (car accidents aside).

Mag gave me a bunch of Psychology Magazines to borrow that feature articles about stress and perfectionism. In one article, the author describes a theory by two psychologists (I don't remember the specifics - sorry) that explains a difference between hard time, soft time and flow.

Soft time is time spent doing what you love. In my case that would be things like cooking, writing, reading books, biking and doing yoga. If pursued long enough, soft time will eventually turn into flow. We can't stay in flow forever, though, which I believe is considerd to be not only impossible but also unhealthy (though I'm not sure why).

Hard time is time spent doing what you must. Of course this includes such obligations as work, grocery shopping and cleaning. However, it often happens that the things that you love to do, gradually turn into the things that you must do. You say to yourself: I HAVE TO ride this bike because I want to be in shape before my world trip. I HAVE TO do yoga or else my back will hurt. I HAVE TO cook and blog about cooking every day because I started this endeavor and now I want to finish it or else I'm a quitter. I HAVE TO read these books and magazines because my loving friends gave them to me in an act of support and friendship. When you're in hard time, you are very conscious about time - you are always painfully aware that time is moving, slipping by, and that you can't do anything to gain more hours in one day.

Does this sound like anyone you know?

I know I recognize myself as the kind of person who seems to always be spending her time hard. And of course the conclusion is that you shouldn't do this - just stop and start spending your time more softly. Right. But how do you go about that when your whole life is a never-ending to-do list?

Well, I don't know how to answer that question, but I do know that when I got on my bike yesterday for the umpteenth time, I didn't mind breaking into a sweat, my back did not hurt and my ass was only sore for a few minutes. I also know that when I was given the choice tonight, I chose to get up from behind the TV and bike again. Truthfully, watching Pride and Prejudice while doing it makes everything easier. But I finally feel like all the biking, and all the yoga, and all the vitamin pills, and all the healthy food, and all the determination to feel better, has made me feel exactly that: better.