Twentysomething Blues

Jochem and I made a pact in order to stop me from turning into one of those annoyingly troubled twentysomethings. I suspect, or perhaps rather hope, that I am at present still in the pleasantly neurotic category of twentysomethings, but my never-ending musings have even started to irritate me. I've written countless times about the many dilemmas twentysomethings in my day and age are facing and about how I am not handling it all too well. To quote contemporary pop culture, Sarah Jessica Parker said as Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City: "So many roads, so many detours. So many choices, so many mistakes." This perfectly sums up how I've felt for quite some time now. Of course a lot of the pressure is off now that Jochem and I aren't getting married, but as graduation comes closer I become more and more aware of the fact that am still jobless come July. Since I work in education I guess that I don't have to start freaking out till the end of August, but doom day is looming. But what really worries me is the big, black, gaping hole after our world trip. When we return, we'll be living in my parents' attic with all of our options open as to where to go next. While this may seem like a liberating thought to some (as I suspected it would to me) it is starting to slowly but surely fill me up with dread and anxiety. What am I supposed to do with my life?! Where should I live?! When will I ever get married?! Will I ever be able to drive a car or buy a house?! When will I be able to take care of our pug puppy?! Yesterday I talked these things over with BFF Anna for the millionth time over coffee at Starbucks and got tired just hearing myself talk about it. So when I came home I made a drastic decision: to not talk about THE FUTURE for a full month. June is to be my worry-free month. Of course this doesn't stop the worries from swirling into my brain and nesting there until they start to fester and grow tentacles, but at least I won't bother anyone else with them. At least after you've read this blog.